No I have not gone crazy… and no I’m not about to marry Katie Holmes and need to tell everyone.. although I do wish I was that lucky.. although it would have to be the before Tom Cruise Katie Holmes though. see Jumping the Couch.

No what I’m talking about is my never ending search for the “Perfect Couch”.

I’m not exactly sure if there is such a thing as the “Perfect Couch” I would like to believe there is such a thing, it’s what keeps be going back to the Malls to test various couches over and over again but sadly I have not yet found “The One”.

So what is it that I’m looking for in a couch? It should be comfortable, it should be well built, it should be something that I want to spend the rest of my life with and actually capable of doing it or at least last 10 years or so and it must not be ugly.

I’ve sat in every couch in Canal Walk Mall, Willow Bridge Mall, Tyger Valley Mall, Somerset Mall and a few other shops here and there… and I have not yet found anything that meets my requirements. I don’t think I’m being too fussy. My parents have a lounge suit that they’ve had for as long as I can remember which is about 23 years, and it’s only in the last few years showing a few signs of wear and tear. It’s survived two boys growing up and all there friends, 3 cats and plenty of get togethers and parties. While I wouldn’t say that it’s my favourite design or colour it’s not ugly.. and is rather comfortable.

So how do I go about searching for my couch? I sit on them… this is I believe the first and most important test for a future couch. If I find it comfortable and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall apart then it’s about half way to being a couch I want to buy. The next step is to take a look and see if it’s ugly… some things you can hide with throw pillows and throw rugs but it’s very hard to hide a large orange couch with chrome legs, or those hideous italian ones with purple, green and white died leather and chrome legs. I like my couch to be black, brown, cream or some similiar pale “furniture” like colour I do not need it to stand out like hazard tape or a traffic cone.

One of the things that particularly bothers me is chrome feet/legs… I’m not sure who decided that chrome was in and why some manufacturers decided to put it on there couches. I’ve looked/sat in a few that were very nice only to notice the chrome legs and decide agaisnt them, I’ve even go so far as to see if they could be removed and replaced with something else. I’m not against chrome.. it’s just not exactly what I want in my lounge.

The other distrubing trend is the “come back” of the furniture styles of the 60’s and 70’s, its a trend that is also visible in clothing and other items too. I personally believe that we have a sort of “evolution” in furniture which basically means that the ugly die off and the nicer stuff sticks around for a while… unfortunately some people decide to go mess with nature and bring back stuff like lime green wool couches with chrome legs because there is a new group of people who have not yet been exposed to them and maybe would buy one. It may be easier to decorate a place with a 60’s retro look then it would have been in the 60’s.

Every shop has the sales assistant who comes over to ask the simple “Can I help you?” question.. occantionally I’ve said yes.. and end up having a conversation like this:

SA: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, Do you have something similiar without the chrome legs and not in lime green?”

SA: “Yes I think so… How about this one?”

[As he points to a couch that could be made out of the same stuff they make orange traffic cones, it’s the same colour anyway.]

Me: “Not exactly what I had in mind, perhaps something in cream?”

SA: “Oh then how about this one?”

[As we walk over to a section of the shop that looks like it’s never had a customer set foot in it, and points at what could best be described as a row of 3 airplane seats with the aluminium bits now made out of a wood and covered in a creamish offwhite leather.]

Me: “Does it come with cupholders?”

SA: “Yes it does… and a space to put your TV remote.”

It’s about then that I walk out… wondering what happened to the comfy couch that you can lie on and watch a movie or sit in and read a book, that doesn’t clash with anything and everything in your room. I’ve even tried the 2nd shops hoping to find a couch from my youth… but they are filled with couches with very “loud” floral patterns and high gloss wood finishes.

But I will not give up hope as I continue my search for perfect couch.